New Years Day Thoughts

Since we have been studying the book of John I have been challenged by a new thought or concept.  Most of my life I have been so thankful for stories and events where I KNEW with out a shadow of a doubt that Jesus was a very real part of my life.  Even from a very young age I experienced God, heard him speaking to me, comforting me and challenging me.

When I was nine years old my mother and father decided to add another child to our family.  I was ecstatic.  Now I would be able to have a sister.  Living in a family of all boys I craved having a sister.  Every night I got on my knees on the rug by my bed in Addis Ababa Ethiopia and prayed that God would bless me with a sister.  When it was time for my new sibling to come, we traveled to Kenya for my mother to have the hospital care needed.  Then after a fun family vacation in Kenya my mother was admitted into the hospital.  After giving birth to my amazing brother Peter we were called to come and visit her.  My mother dreaded me finding out I had another brother.  She was most concerned that my faith in God would be crushed, because I had so earnestly prayed.

At the hospital room my parents shared the news, that I had a little brother Peter.  Much to my mother and fathers surprise I seemed completely fine, excited and filled with joy.  Mom finally inquired, "Beth I am so sorry you didn't get a sister, are you terribly disappointed?"  My answer was swift and cheerful, "Nope not at all, God is just telling me to wait a while."  Now my mom felt the need to let me know that I was wrong, because they were not having any more children.  They were done.  Four was all they could afford and so I just needed to be happy with a brother.  I was happy, but I remember just shutting my mind off to her, "It will never happen" comments and believing.  For some reason I just KNEW!  I had heard him, not audibly, but there was a peace, a knowledge that he was saying to me, "Just wait awhile your sister is coming"

One year later we were on furlow to the United States and I heard the adult conversations about my father getting a vasectomy.  I was now a bit sad, and the night before his operation I cried myself to sleep.  I cried out to God, "But I know you told me to wait a while, I know it! What is going on?  How could I be so wrong?" 

Several weeks past, and then my mother got very ill.  They started doing tests trying to figure out what was wrong,  then finally they decided to do a pregnancy test and it was positive.  I remember that night so well.  I was staying in the basement room at my grandmothers house in Berrien Springs Mi.  I went into my room fell beside the bed and praised God for my little sister that was growing inside my mother.  I was so excited I cried.

Nine months later while sick with Malaria, so sick I could barely read, a telegram was brought to me, that said my little sister had been born.  It was good news but news I already KNEW!

Great story, right!  Over and over throughout my life I have reflected, held onto, known that Jesus Christ, God the Father, and the Holy Spirit are all intimately involved in my life.  They love me,  they have assured me, spoken to me, comforted me, given me strength when needed, sent me love notes in the sun rises and made it impossible to doubt, because I have experienced HIM!!!

But studying this book of John I am more convinced than ever that it is those who have not experienced Him and yet believe that are really blessed.  How nice it would have been to have put our hands on the scares.  How nice if everyone had remarkable stories of how Jesus provided sisters, or other miracles. Yet here Jesus is clearly saying, that it is the person who has begged for protection and not received it and yet believes who is so blessed!  It is the person who begs for healing and doesn't get it yet still believes who is blessed.  It is not in the experience of touching his scars that the blessing comes it is in the believing on Him, believing that no matter our experiences, no matter the obvious blessings or the lack there of, no matter the emptiness, we believe.  It is in the simple act of choosing to believe that we are richly blessed.

So in this new year, I want to be content to believe, to know, that Jesus Christ is my Savior friend and rest in that!  Will you join me?  Will you commit to letting go of the neediness to have Jesus show himself to you and  just believe?

John 6:47
Very truly I tell you, the one who believes has eternal life.

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