Question of the day: Why do you come to the Kitchen Class?
READ: 2 Samuel 13: 1-22
Amnon and Tamar
13 In the course of time, Amnon son of David fell in love with Tamar, the beautiful sister of Absalom son of David.
2 Amnon became so obsessed with his sister Tamar that he made himself ill. She was a virgin, and it seemed impossible for him to do anything to her.
3 Now Amnon had an adviser named Jonadab son of Shimeah, David’s brother. Jonadab was a very shrewd man. 4 He asked Amnon, “Why do you, the king’s son, look so haggard morning after morning? Won’t you tell me?”
Amnon said to him, “I’m in love with Tamar, my brother Absalom’s sister.”
5 “Go to bed and pretend to be ill,” Jonadab said. “When your father comes to see you, say to him, ‘I would like my sister Tamar to come and give me something to eat. Let her prepare the food in my sight so I may watch her and then eat it from her hand.’”
6 So Amnon lay down and pretended to be ill. When the king came to see him, Amnon said to him, “I would like my sister Tamar to come and make some special bread in my sight, so I may eat from her hand.”
7 David sent word to Tamar at the palace: “Go to the house of your brother Amnon and prepare some food for him.” 8 So Tamar went to the house of her brother Amnon, who was lying down. She took some dough, kneaded it, made the bread in his sight and baked it. 9 Then she took the pan and served him the bread, but he refused to eat.
“Send everyone out of here,” Amnon said. So everyone left him. 10 Then Amnon said to Tamar, “Bring the food here into my bedroom so I may eat from your hand.” And Tamar took the bread she had prepared and brought it to her brother Amnon in his bedroom. 11 But when she took it to him to eat, he grabbed her and said, “Come to bed with me, my sister.”
12 “No, my brother!” she said to him. “Don’t force me! Such a thing should not be done in Israel! Don’t do this wicked thing. 13 What about me? Where could I get rid of my disgrace? And what about you? You would be like one of the wicked fools in Israel. Please speak to the king; he will not keep me from being married to you.” 14 But he refused to listen to her, and since he was stronger than she, he raped her.
15 Then Amnon hated her with intense hatred. In fact, he hated her more than he had loved her. Amnon said to her, “Get up and get out!”
16 “No!” she said to him. “Sending me away would be a greater wrong than what you have already done to me.”
But he refused to listen to her. 17 He called his personal servant and said, “Get this woman out of my sight and bolt the door after her.” 18 So his servant put her out and bolted the door after her. She was wearing an ornate[a] robe, for this was the kind of garment the virgin daughters of the king wore. 19 Tamar put ashes on her head and tore the ornate robe she was wearing. She put her hands on her head and went away, weeping aloud as she went.
20 Her brother Absalom said to her, “Has that Amnon, your brother, been with you? Be quiet for now, my sister; he is your brother. Don’t take this thing to heart.” And Tamar lived in her brother Absalom’s house, a desolate woman.
21 When King David heard all this, he was furious. 22 And Absalom never said a word to Amnon, either good or bad; he hated Amnon because he had disgraced his sister Tamar.
1. The ME ME ME ME complex.
At the core of it all, Amnon was thinking about himself, his needs, or his desires. He was surrounded by yes people, and given what he wanted. He had a me me me me complex.
It is easy for us to see how he had that problem, but what about us?
I will confess, at first thought, I wasn't sure this could apply to me. After all, I serve others and have lived much of my life "for others."
Here is the confession part..... I know there are times that even my service is in an effort to gain affirmation or praise. I know there are many parts of my life where self gets in the way!
We are called to take up the cross of Jesus and follow Him! There is nothing about self in that!
“If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. 25 For whoever would save his life[a] will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will find it. 26 For what will it profit a man if he gains the whole world and forfeits his soul? Or what shall a man give in return for his soul?" Matthew 16:24-26
What is God asking you to give up for him? Have you let the ME ME ME complex take over?
Are you willing to give up your life for Him?
2. Control the mind! (Fill your mind with the right stuff!)
Obsessing, letting our thoughts dwell on things that they shouldn't dwell on. "...if there is anything worthy of praise, or any good....think on these things."
Getting control of our thoughts. Filling the space in your mind with God!
I will be honest with you, this week has been a rough one. My mind has not been resting in God. It has been more obsessing, fearing, stressing.
Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. Colossians 3:2
Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12:2
3. Be careful who you get advice from! Don't just surround yourself with YES people. Make sure those you get help from are people who can tell you what you need to hear.
4. Stay away from evil desire. Making sure you are not physically in a place where you can give into your sin. If you are an alcoholic don't sit at a bar. Even if the pretzels are the best!
You may not be an alcoholic, but what about other things. I love Amelie's French Bakery in Noda. It is quite possibly one of my favorite spots. I love the fresh raspberry lemon tart! It is the perfect blend of tart and sweet, fresh and baked, PERFECT! However if I know I need to stay away from sugar it isn't where I choose to sit and read!
If you have a problem with porn, sitting on your computer for hours alone, probably isn't a good idea.
5. Remember that when you want something you shouldn't have, after getting it you may hate it!
When Chris and I moved to Charlotte our couch was a disgrace. It was embarrassing! It was so bad we decided who we could invite over based on whether or not we could see them sitting on our couch. When I graduated from college in 2007 Chris gave me a check to go buy a couch. Now, he gave me a nice amount and I was so excited to go and buy a NEW couch. I went to Hickory to find the best possible deal. By the end of the day I couldn't decide between two couches. I kept sitting on one and then the other. I finally called my brother who is by far the best decorator I know. I texted him pictures and we sat and discussed the pros and cons of the two couches. Peter then asked about the price. One was slightly over budget. It was less then two hundred dollars over budget and I knew that Chris would be fine with it. The other couch was just under budget, so with tax etc. It would still be within the amount Chris had given me. I was quick to explain to Peter that Chris wouldn't care about the price, so it really wasn't an issue. I will never forget what Peter said! He didn't say, "You need to be responsible and stay within budget." He didn't say, "Well then it doesn't matter." He said, "If you buy the one that is under budget you will always like it better! If you buy the one over budget it may bother you later. Since you like them both, I would buy the one that is less than what Chris gave you. It says to Chris he gave you enough, it will forever be something you feel good about."
I have stuck with that advice so many times. If I love something but it isn't the right price then it isn't right! I don't want to have buyers remorse.
6. Be willing to wait for what you want. It is possible that Amnon could have married Tamar. If he had been willing to wait and to ask his father. Taking what we want when we want it never works out well!
7. Sin takes life! I know this is a crazy extreme story, and we know what happens to Amnon. It is hard to take this story and apply it to our lives.... However no matter what sin it is that you have or our struggling with, it kills!
Eating what we want when we want it instead of what we should eat, kills us.
Porn, kills marriages.
Judgement, and a critical heart kills relationships.
Lying kills trust...
8. God can and will give us victory! I wonder if this would even have been a story included in the bible if Amnon had gone to his knees and asked God for help. I wonder what would have been if Amnon had instead of sitting in his obsession had turned his thoughts toward serving God and serving others. What or who would he have been if he had spent his time honing his skills as a warrior or a musician, or something.
Obsessing, letting our thoughts dwell on things that they shouldn't dwell on. "...if there is anything worthy of praise, or any good....think on these things."
Getting control of our thoughts. Filling the space in your mind with God!
I will be honest with you, this week has been a rough one. My mind has not been resting in God. It has been more obsessing, fearing, stressing.
Set your minds on things above, not on earthly things. Colossians 3:2
Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. Romans 12:2
3. Be careful who you get advice from! Don't just surround yourself with YES people. Make sure those you get help from are people who can tell you what you need to hear.
4. Stay away from evil desire. Making sure you are not physically in a place where you can give into your sin. If you are an alcoholic don't sit at a bar. Even if the pretzels are the best!
You may not be an alcoholic, but what about other things. I love Amelie's French Bakery in Noda. It is quite possibly one of my favorite spots. I love the fresh raspberry lemon tart! It is the perfect blend of tart and sweet, fresh and baked, PERFECT! However if I know I need to stay away from sugar it isn't where I choose to sit and read!
If you have a problem with porn, sitting on your computer for hours alone, probably isn't a good idea.
5. Remember that when you want something you shouldn't have, after getting it you may hate it!
When Chris and I moved to Charlotte our couch was a disgrace. It was embarrassing! It was so bad we decided who we could invite over based on whether or not we could see them sitting on our couch. When I graduated from college in 2007 Chris gave me a check to go buy a couch. Now, he gave me a nice amount and I was so excited to go and buy a NEW couch. I went to Hickory to find the best possible deal. By the end of the day I couldn't decide between two couches. I kept sitting on one and then the other. I finally called my brother who is by far the best decorator I know. I texted him pictures and we sat and discussed the pros and cons of the two couches. Peter then asked about the price. One was slightly over budget. It was less then two hundred dollars over budget and I knew that Chris would be fine with it. The other couch was just under budget, so with tax etc. It would still be within the amount Chris had given me. I was quick to explain to Peter that Chris wouldn't care about the price, so it really wasn't an issue. I will never forget what Peter said! He didn't say, "You need to be responsible and stay within budget." He didn't say, "Well then it doesn't matter." He said, "If you buy the one that is under budget you will always like it better! If you buy the one over budget it may bother you later. Since you like them both, I would buy the one that is less than what Chris gave you. It says to Chris he gave you enough, it will forever be something you feel good about."
I have stuck with that advice so many times. If I love something but it isn't the right price then it isn't right! I don't want to have buyers remorse.
6. Be willing to wait for what you want. It is possible that Amnon could have married Tamar. If he had been willing to wait and to ask his father. Taking what we want when we want it never works out well!
7. Sin takes life! I know this is a crazy extreme story, and we know what happens to Amnon. It is hard to take this story and apply it to our lives.... However no matter what sin it is that you have or our struggling with, it kills!
Eating what we want when we want it instead of what we should eat, kills us.
Porn, kills marriages.
Judgement, and a critical heart kills relationships.
Lying kills trust...
8. God can and will give us victory! I wonder if this would even have been a story included in the bible if Amnon had gone to his knees and asked God for help. I wonder what would have been if Amnon had instead of sitting in his obsession had turned his thoughts toward serving God and serving others. What or who would he have been if he had spent his time honing his skills as a warrior or a musician, or something.
For the LORD your God is the one who goes with you to fight for you against your enemies to give you victory.” Deuteronomy 20:4
Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Ephesians 6:13
for everyone born of God overcomes the world. This is the victory that has overcome the world, even our faith. 1 John 5:4
The horse is made ready for the day of battle, but victory rests with the LORD. Proverbs 21:31
No matter what you struggle with God has overcome! God has overcome and...!!!!! AND!!!!! It isn't just that we are covered and that he paid for our sin, but God wants us to live free! Live like His children who are not bound by the shackles of sin. He didn't come to this earth and die on a cross so that we would receive a pardon to still be shackled and chained in the dungeon of sin! Because He died and paid the price you are free!
Imagine that you are literally in the pit, in prison. The charges have been dropped, you are free to go! Would you still sit there? You may say, that you don't know how to take off the chains, the shackles. We can't take them off by ourselves! Prisoners can't unshackle themselves, but Jesus not only has paid the price so that all charges have been dropped and you are free to go, but he is right there in the pit with you ready to unshackle you and take off the chains that are binding you. Will you let him!
So let him help you get rid of the shackles, or the chains, that are keeping you in the pit! I know that when we have spent much of our life there, leaving the prison of sin can be scary and even something that we aren't sure we want. Learning to live a life Free can be challenging, but Jesus is there too! Cling to His hand as you walk out of the pit and cling to it as you walk free! Walk, run, or dance! I'm dancing!
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