DAVID A man after God's own heart

Question of the Day: What are you looking forward to the most?


This week we are going to finish chapter 13.  Last week we had to bear the terrible story of the rape of Tamar, and this week isn't much better.  This week we deal with the fallout.  

Before we get into the reading we first need to review the last bit of last weeks passage.  This week we are going to be looking at how the men in Tamar's life treated her and what we can learn from them.  So to do that we need to read the end of last weeks passage. 


READ: 2 Samuel 13: 20-38

20 Her brother Absalom said to her, “Has that Amnon, your brother, been with you? Be quiet for now, my sister; he is your brother. Don’t take this thing to heart.” And Tamar lived in her brother Absalom’s house, a desolate woman. 21 When King David heard all this, he was furious. 22 And Absalom never said a word to Amnon, either good or bad; he hated Amnon because he had disgraced his sister Tamar.

Absalom Kills Amnon

23 Two years later, when Absalom’s sheepshearers were at Baal Hazor near the border of Ephraim, he invited all the king’s sons to come there.24 Absalom went to the king and said, “Your servant has had shearers come. Will the king and his attendants please join me?”

25 “No, my son,” the king replied. “All of us should not go; we would only be a burden to you.” Although Absalom urged him, he still refused to go but gave him his blessing.

26 Then Absalom said, “If not, please let my brother Amnon come with us.”

The king asked him, “Why should he go with you?” 27 But Absalom urged him, so he sent with him Amnon and the rest of the king’s sons.

28 Absalom ordered his men, “Listen! When Amnon is in high spirits from drinking wine and I say to you, ‘Strike Amnon down,’ then kill him. Don’t be afraid. Haven’t I given you this order? Be strong and brave.” 29 So Absalom’s men did to Amnon what Absalom had ordered. Then all the king’s sons got up, mounted their mules and fled.

30 While they were on their way, the report came to David: “Absalom has struck down all the king’s sons; not one of them is left.” 31 The king stood up, tore his clothes and lay down on the ground; and all his attendants stood by with their clothes torn.

32 But Jonadab son of Shimeah, David’s brother, said, “My lord should not think that they killed all the princes; only Amnon is dead. This has been Absalom’s express intention ever since the day Amnon raped his sister Tamar. 33 My lord the king should not be concerned about the report that all the king’s sons are dead. Only Amnon is dead.”

34 Meanwhile, Absalom had fled.

Now the man standing watch looked up and saw many people on the road west of him, coming down the side of the hill. The watchman went and told the king, “I see men in the direction of Horonaim, on the side of the hill.”[b]

35 Jonadab said to the king, “See, the king’s sons have come; it has happened just as your servant said.”

36 As he finished speaking, the king’s sons came in, wailing loudly. The king, too, and all his attendants wept very bitterly.

37 Absalom fled and went to Talmai son of Ammihud, the king of Geshur. But King David mourned many days for his son.

38 After Absalom fled and went to Geshur, he stayed there three years.39 And King David longed to go to Absalom, for he was consoled concerning Amnon’s death.

So Tamar has been raped and the first thing that happens is what?

Be quiet.  Ever heard that before... or shall I say even recently on the news.  Millions of dollars are spent trying to quiet those who have been wronged.

Why would Absalom try to keep her quiet about it?

What about David?  What was his response?

Who is stepping up and helping this woman?  All the men around her are doing NOTHING! What does that do to her?

The first crime was horrific but being told by those who are pretending to protect you to just be quiet or who claim outrage but do nothing at all like David.  She has been violated again!!!  She now has been violated, hurt, by all the men in her life!

This isn't a rare thing even today!  Too many times when women are raped or molested even family members want them to be quiet.  Organizations don't want it going public, etc. etc.etc. Silence is so damaging to the victim.   

So David said nothing.  He was furious but that furry didn't lead to any action! Why?

Back to Absalom, first he told her to be quiet and then what did he do? NOTHING he didn't even speak to Amnon for how long?

Even after 2 years he still was filled with anger at his brother.  He tried to stuff his feeling but that didn't work.  Stuffing NEVER works.  Eventually you explode and do something that harms others or yourself, or it eats away at you from the inside out.  STUFFING is bad!

Are there lessons to be applied about our response to injustice around us, death & sickness, the marginalized, etc that is around us each day?

I know that there is a lot to be studied and said in the answering of the simple question why David and Absalom did what they did and I don't want to write it all out here. So to those reading I hope you understand not having the answers here.  

I would like to say this in closing.  When we have sin, and stuff in our own lives it can cloud our judgement when we are trying to make the decision as to how to help or defend others.  David did nothing.  Absalom responded in two different ways and ended up doing too much.  Neither of them helped Tamar! Both of them let her down.  Why?

Well here is the lesson for me today!

If I don't make sure I am growing with God, surrendered to God, forgiven by God, right with God, I may not be able to see past my stuff to be able to protect those around me... like my kids...or my friends... or the students I work with... and anyone I'm called to lift up and protect!

Will I tell them to just be quiet and suffer in silence or will I kill the one hurting them?

This lesson has challenged me to be asking God what he needs to heal in me so I'm ready to be a warrior! A protector!