Afraid
Question of the day: When was the last time you were truly afraid?
READ: Nehemiah 2: 1-10
2 In the month of Nisan in the twentieth year of King Artaxerxes, when wine was brought for him, I took the wine and gave it to the king. I had not been sad in his presence before, 2 so the king asked me, “Why does your face look so sad when you are not ill? This can be nothing but sadness of heart.”
I was very much afraid, 3 but I said to the king, “May the king live forever! Why should my face not look sad when the city where my ancestors are buried lies in ruins, and its gates have been destroyed by fire?”
4 The king said to me, “What is it you want?”
Then I prayed to the God of heaven, 5 and I answered the king, “If it pleases the king and if your servant has found favor in his sight, let him send me to the city in Judah where my ancestors are buried so that I can rebuild it.”
6 Then the king, with the queen sitting beside him, asked me, “How long will your journey take, and when will you get back?” It pleased the king to send me; so I set a time.
7 I also said to him, “If it pleases the king, may I have letters to the governors of Trans-Euphrates, so that they will provide me safe-conduct until I arrive in Judah? 8 And may I have a letter to Asaph, keeper of the royal park, so he will give me timber to make beams for the gates of the citadel by the temple and for the city wall and for the residence I will occupy?” And because the gracious hand of my God was on me, the king granted my requests. 9 So I went to the governors of Trans-Euphrates and gave them the king’s letters. The king had also sent army officers and cavalry with me.
10 When Sanballat the Horonite and Tobiah the Ammonite official heard about this, they were very much disturbed that someone had come to promote the welfare of the Israelites.
I want us to go back to verse one.
"I had not been sad in his presence before..."
Why is this significant?
I love authenticity and often joke about people who are stiff and perfect as "plastics." Was Nehemiah a plastic?
How do we stay authentic while being happy and joyful like Nehemiah seemed to be?
Or is presenting as joyful or happy or simply not unhappy something we are called to be?
How did Nehemiah benefit from not been "chronically unhappy" before this?
It is unrealistic to believe that Nehemiah had not had other bad days, so what do we do with our bad days? How do we walk through our days without carrying our sorrow or struggle right along with us? Or when do we let it show and when do we keep it tucked away while we serve?
Kim Cove and I are starting a podcast that goes live next Friday. On our podcast we talk about having joy in the weeds. So while we are in the midst of struggle we can also have joy. It is very important even vital that we not be fake and "be joyful" because we are supposed to be when we are struggling in the weeds. God doesn't need a bunch of robotic humans walking around with a fake "joy" in the name of being a Christ follower, all the while the agony and pain is festering. We need to cry out to God about our pain, to experience it, to grieve, to hurt, to work through it all. HOW do we do that and yet, "rejoice always, and again I say rejoice," “Be glad in the Lord, and rejoice, O righteous, and shout for joy, all you upright in heart!” (Psalm 32:11)?
I think in our culture where being authentic and transparent is so valued we have perhaps forgotten that there are times when we still need to present or lead with joy.
That there are appropriate times for leading with joy.
How do we do that? (If you are not in class I would suggest that you list out some ways that you can tap into joy, or find the joy necessary to lead with it as you work, or while you take care of your children, or whatever the circumstances are where joy is needed.)
Moving on to verse two and the beginning of verse three:
so the king asked me, “Why does your face look so sad when you are not ill? This can be nothing but sadness of heart.” I was very much afraid, 3 but I said to the king...Why was he afraid?
What did he have to fear?
It was dangerous to appear before the king unhappy or sad, who could execute anyone that displeased him. We also know from a passage in Esther that if you were mourning and wearing sackcloth you were barred from the palace. So Nehemiah had reason to be afraid.
What does this tell us about the level of his unhappiness?
He was so upset! Completely devastated by the state of his city.
So Nehemiah was afraid, "but I said to the king..."
BUT he still spoke up!
He still said something!!!!
How many times do we let our fear keep us silent!
Even as I write that last sentence I cringe just a bit. In this day and age when it comes to social media perhaps we need to be more silent! Sometimes we use stories like this to justify being mean and even hateful all under the vale of not letting fear silence us! That is NOT what is happening here.
How is this different?
How would you compare this to a modern day scenario?
Moving on Nehemiah was afraid but he still spoke up and asked the King....
What did he say?
“May the king live forever! Why should my face not look sad when the city where my ancestors are buried lies in ruins, and its gates have been destroyed by fire?”
Do you remember what Nehemiah's prayer to God had been?
This was Nehemiah stepping out in faith and believing asking word for word what he had asked God to provide.
When we ask God for something then do we believe it and step out in faith?
This Christmas my sister came to spend the holiday with us. She is going through a divorce and so this was going to be a difficult holiday for her and her kids. I had planned and worked to make sure that this would be a wonderful time for them. The day after they arrived, her son was diagnosed with the flu. I assured her we were happy for her to stay and still try to enjoy the holiday, even if we all got sick.
Mary came out of her room the next day, and pronounced that Gene was going to be fine in a couple days and we were all going to keep from getting sick. Why? Because she had prayed it and claimed it. Now, I'm not sure what I think of that, but we just went on with the joy of celebrating. Gene, wore a mask when around the house, and Mary was extremely careful to make sure everyone washed their hands, but... Gene was well enough to participate by Christmas day and NO one got sick. He was playing with cousins, and we were hugging him and interacting as normal. This week Mary and I were talking and I told her I still can't believe that no one got sick. Her response, "Don't you remember that is how I prayed and I claimed it!"
Nehemiah did the same here. He asked for favor with the King and then asked the King if he had his favor. I think that is claiming it!
Look I will be perfectly honest, there is something about this whole idea that makes me uncomfortable. After all, if the whole family had come down with the flu, was God not listening or didn't care? What about all the times when we pray for healing and our loved one still dies? What about the jobs we don't get or the marriages that aren't healed?
These are hard questions, and I don't know exactly how to handle all this, but what I do know is, I would rather claim it and then trust that He will be with me from there on, and that if it isn't what I had prayed and claimed, I will know the journey, the things I learn along the way, His comfort, and His presence will be everything.
Why does Nehemiah say that the King found favor in him?
Do we always give God the credit?
If you can break this down...
1. Nehemiah (last week) prayed that God would help him find favor with the King.
2. Nehemiah was afraid but he stepped out in faith and asked the King for favor.
3. Nehemiah found favor and was able to go.
4. Nehemiah gives God all the credit.
5. Nehemiah gets to work.
Actually I forgot the first one from last week. Nehemiah saw something that should have been done and got upset.
Is there something that God has been putting on your heart. Perhaps something that is way bigger than you could ever dare to dream. Something that perhaps scars you. Something that you know you can't do and yet it must be done?
Pray about it! Fast and pray about it!
Pray then specifically about what you need.
Don't let fear stop you!
Step out in faith claiming what you have asked for.
Give God the credit!
Get to work!
I get it, this stuff is scary and sometimes we let doubt about ourselves or even doubt about God himself keep us from stepping forward and doing something that you know needs to be done. I know this has great risk and great potential to implode! Nehemiah could have lost his life over being sad, much less asking for time off and letters and supplies, but he stepped forward anyway and got to work. Will you?
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